I glance down at a list of joy things, slow things, to
It's been a long while since I've properly gauged my feelings and written my thoughts.
We've sold a house and moved to another a long distance away; new smells, new people, new adventures surround us.
I've leaned into change or should I say I'm trying to embrace it.
At least some things never change.
It's been hard, a hard letting go during these many many months. Letting go of ME. The stubborn, selfish, my way me.
On this blog, I've been absent, and for good reason. It's OK to take a break from trying to form or conform. It's OK to back away from something that may cause more mess at the end of the day. The striving, pushing to do things, just so - mess.
These dogs here on my orange rug, they're a vehicle for some acceptance of mess. The normal everyday mess that I don't put on myself. The mess that brings you to tears or to smiles. And well these two girls have brought both to my life. This mess I'm in is breaking old habits off and hopefully creating healthier ones in place.
He's good at that.
Replacing, creating, moving, breaking, repairing.... All making a MESS!
I must be a better me.
... mother, wife, housekeeper, teacher, Christian, daughter, artist, writer, organizer, etc.
I'm weary of each word down, each hard to break but not unbreakable MUST in my life.
God make a mess in me, in us!
Those words. That call. That demanding. Are heavy. Powerful.
I want to back out, back away through that door. The selfish wants to run away from Him. But that's fool talk.
Ask and receive.
Ask for mess and receive Christ.
What better exchange is that!