Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength.

I'm currently in a bible study with some girlfriends.

I need to admit, at first I was too laid back and wasn't taking the study seriously.

I had a poor attitude and thought that this was just something else on my To Do list.

Where I thought I would go on this study was in a different direction than where I am headed now.

I'm absorbing much more and God is showing me things.

In my current reading of the bible, I'm in Numbers.

The study that we are doing is on the book of Nehemiah.

I'm enjoying seeing the link between Nehemiah's journey and where the Israelites have come through from leaving Egypt many many years previously.

I'm always stunned to find out, over and over again how pathetic we humans can really be.

I shake my head at those Israelites and then wag my finger at myself.

I'm such a stubborn, self centered woman.

I don't let God be God and when I need His hand, I cry out like He's left me for dead or something.

Like, really.

Com' on me.

Get it together.

But, alas I am but a human being.

Here's what I loved about chapter 9 of Nehemiah.

The author of the study writes:

Confession of sins usually doesn't come easily for us.

By nature, we tend to be proud and self-sufficient, two characteristics that war against confession.

That one just got me, right there (my chest) you know.

And then in chapter 10, she has to go and write this:

They gave God their first fruits before they were sure the second fruits would come in.

Most of us give God our leftovers, if anything.

OUCH.

My favorite passage so far is from chapter 8, Nehemiah 8:10

Nehemiah said, "Go and enjoy choice food and sweet drinks, and send some to those who have nothing prepared. This day is sacred to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength."

This passage sums up me most times. Realizing my sin and wanting to wallow in it but instead choosing to rejoice for my Jesus saves.